Counseling for Children and Teens
Counseling for Children
Parents commonly bring their children to therapy when their children are struggling to cope with anxiety, anger, limited self-confidence, or challenges in their relationships with peers or family members. In my work with children and families, I help parents develop a deeper understanding of why their children think, feel, and behave in certain ways. I also recommend strategies to help children better handle situations that are currently causing problems. While treatment plans are individualized for each child, part of therapy typically involves building emotional awareness and emotion regulation. Children who have a well-developed emotional vocabulary and are attuned to their inner emotional experiences are well-positioned to regulate their emotions and behaviors in stressful situations. Emotional awareness also helps children succeed in interpersonal relationships. Once a foundation of emotional awareness is established, the focus can shift to development of emotion regulation. Good emotion regulation helps children develop into resilient adults and helps them keep emotions like anxiety or anger from taking charge in their life.
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The following list includes some of the reasons parents may seek counseling for their children:
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My child seems to be a constant worrier.
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My child has specific fears that are getting in the way of our life. My child is afraid to be away from me or sleep alone. My child is excessively concerned about being judged by others or is excessively fearful about making mistakes.
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My child has too many meltdowns and tantrums throughout the day. Even getting through the daily routine is a struggle. When things don't go according to plan, my child struggles to adjust.
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My child makes too many negative comments that alarm me, like "I'm the worst kid ever," "You hate me," "Nobody likes me," or even "I wish I weren't around anymore."
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When working with me, parents should expect to be very involved in treatment. They should know what skills are being targeted, how treatment is progressing, and how they can support their child at home. Parents can expect to have parent-only sessions some of the time. Parents can also expect treatment to be based on targeted goals. For example, anxious children or children with low self-esteem may have specific goals related to what they will be able to do once they are better able to resist their anxiety or overcome their low self-confidence. Children with anger may have specific goals about how they will respond to situations that elicit frustration without losing control.
Counseling for Teenagers
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Reasons Teens Seek Counseling
Some teens have a hard time navigating the stresses of middle school and high school. Many want someone to talk to besides their parents to unpack problems. Some teens find it hard to navigate the rocky social terrain of adolescence. They struggle with upheaval in their friend groups and worry about developing close and authentic friendships. Other teens worry about the pressures of not being good enough—for parents, teachers, coaches, friends, and even themselves. They may feel uncomfortable about aspects of their appearance or worried that their grades, athletic abilities, or artistic skills won’t lead them to the type of college or future they want. It is not uncommon for teens to experience anger and resentment towards their parents. Major battles may erupt over expectations around school performance and limits around social media, technology use, and freedom in social activities. Common goals teens may work on in therapy include developing meaningful friendships, building resistance to stress and anxiety, and developing a strong sense of self.
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What To Expect in Counseling
Parents of teens are usually less involved in treatment than parents of younger children. Parents should, however, expect to receive updates on the general goals of treatment and how treatment is progressing. Teenagers often engage more effectively in counseling when they help select the psychologist they will work with. It you are looking for counseling for your teen, consider presenting several options and letting your teen select someone to try. It can be helpful to frame the first appointment as a consultation, after which your teen will be able to decide if the psychologist was a good fit. Parents and teenagers often wonder what happens during sessions. In most cases, part of the session will be spent reviewing what has happened over the past week. The bulk of the session is usually spent exploring a specific topic, such as a challenging social situation or a worry that has been particularly bothersome. The session usually wraps up with a brief review of problems that may come up in the week(s) before the next session.